Let's face it: the gay community is quite polarized. Due to social stigmas, family pressure, and the all-in-all slow process of acceptance of the gay culture as a whole, gay men find themselves in varying emotional and philosophical points in their life. From closeted, masculine married men who come out later in life to extroverted, parade dancing "queens" busting out of the closet at 21; from monogamous, traditionalists to polyamorists, gay men are a wide array of colors, as the flag suggests. Unlike straight men, this separation is quite profound on many points of the spectrum.
This separation is one of the reasons why many believe it is statistically more difficult for a gay man to find love than a heterosexual male per capita - along with the lack of volume of LTR-seekers, a more stringent criteria set, and quick fixes on Grindr.
Seeking someone of the same sex might sound like a plus on paper, “we are the same after all”. Even straight men make the joke often how life would be easier if they were just married to another man. There is a problem though… regardless of sexual orientation, all men, and we mean ALL MEN, are ingrained and structured the same. We as a whole have been accused of being impatient, insensitive, direct, simple, immature, unromantic, one-track thinkers etc. Like two magnets with opposite charges attracted to each other, the like charges repel. Why? Simple, because of those similarities we discussed above.
This is not to say that gay men are not destined to be in long term relationships. In fact, we believe gay men stand a better chance than a straight man in making it last the distance in a relationship. Yes, you heard right. The problem lies in not countering the lack of volume with extra effort and, in the early stages of a connection, not following the laws of attraction and being sure the man sitting in front of you is emotionally and physically available, along with a strict, defined criteria set. In fact, there could be a chance your own criteria is still evolving. Gay men, with a greater sample size than their straight counterparts, on paper, should have a better sense of what they’re looking for. You would think, right? Our interview and coaching helps figure that out and perhaps navigate you as your co-captain of your ship.
So The Gayquotient™ Was Born...
Gayquotient answers important and often provocative questions: "Are you a top or bottom or neither?","Are you in or out of the closet?", “Are you seeking monogamy or open exploration?”, "Open to dating someone of a different skin color?", “Where do you fit in the gay culture and community?", or hey, maybe you don’t. Essentially, where you are currently as a gay man on life's spectrum. It proves to solve the two-men-think-alike conundrum.
The developers of Gayquation realized that personality, physical traits and timing, while important with all sexual orientations towards the chances of long term success, are a smaller piece of the pie with gay men. We consider other factors specific to our community that is also critical to movement beyond the "courtship" phase. Partners who, for example, shared the same sense of humor or similar activities played a lesser role in long term success where it may have paid bigger dividends with a heterosexual couple. Successful gay relationships are also predicated on the inclusion and magnification of gay-specific factors. We found success in highlighting and weighting specific characteristics necessary for m4m success, while shadowing others. This is where conventional matchmaking and dating sites fail, as they don't take into account factors that are specific to a gay man - "out" status, sexual role and proclivities, monogamy, feminine-masculine spectrum, children, HIV status, Peter Pan complexes... among others. We also baseline you to other clients to determine if you require extra attention, i.e. your number of deal breakers are outside the mean or perhaps your demographics and location are as well. We then customize our approach based on all these factors.
Your personal Gayquotient will be determined by your lead matchmaker, after a thorough assessment of your profile, dating past, demographics, criteria, and, most importantly, a candid discussion during the interview phase. This will take place, via phone call, after officially being assigned to a matchmaking team. It will be strictly confidential as your privacy is of utmost importance to us. Please be aware that personal questions will be asked during the interview. Although you are not required to answer any question, any misleading, incorrect or unanswered questions may result in an incorrect or incomplete assessment, with an increase likelihood of incompatible matches. Just like that famous movie quote - "Help me, help you.". We are on your side and dedicated to succeed as part of your team.
Discarding the old rules of matchmaking, Gayquation challenged the status quo and developed a set of working hypotheses of the m4m culture with a goal to connect quality men and create loving relationships that competes with time.