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Dating Safe Within the Gay Community



Internet and In Person dating

Let’s face the facts. Gay men date differently than straight singles. But dating safety should always be adhered to whether straight or M4M. It may be fun and exciting when meeting a new person for the first time. Be smart when communicating or sharing your personal information. Taking the steps to protect yourself while participating in the Gayquation GLBT community will help create a more positive experience for you and contribute to a better online environment for everyone.

Gayquation is the industry leader in Gay Matchmaking. We provide thousands of introductions across the world to high quality and professional single men.

Be comfortable with the person before accepting private invites to hook up. With that saying, as a rule, Gayquation recommends and actively promotes monogamy, partnerships, Gay Marriage and long term relationships (LTR’s). Many gay and bisexual men are especially at risk in online and offline dating. Be mindful of your personal safety when getting up close and personal. Use Protection both intellectually and sexually. Stay aware and educated about GLBT sexual health and wellbeing. The vast majority of L.G.B.T. people don’t think about safety enough.

Know the potential risks, Know His Sexual History, Stay safe when going out.

Gayquation is proud to be advocates to Gay rights and lifestyle choices. With these choices, sometimes comes complications. It is a truth that even in 2015, HIV and other STD’s are still being transmitted. There are some people that will keep their HIV or sexual health status hidden. The best way to protect yourself is to watch for warning signs such as: Refusal to answer questions about their status, ambiguity about the date of their last STD tests, ambiguity about the number of partners they have been with. If they have a willingness to have sex without condoms should send up red flags.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: The vast majority of our clients maintain a healthy lifestyle and maintain safe practices. Consistent with our mission, Gayquation’s ethical and moral obligation to disclose health related matters such as HIV status or potential health risks to potential matches - are at the clients request for that information to be known- to the chosen potential match. Permission from the potential match to provide their contact information to the client must be obtained prior to the introduction being made. This may include any disabilities that the client would like the match to be aware of prior to the introduction. Helpful tip: Do a bit of research on potential matches, it will help you make informed choices, but personal preference and comfort are really the most important factors here. The key is to actually put in the time and do the research if you want to have an enjoyable dating experience.

To increase your awareness of safer dating practices, the following is a list of safety measures you should consider when engaging in on-line dating. There are certain steps that every person should follow while dating — both online and offline. We ask you to take a few minutes to read these tips and require that you follow them.

We make no representations or warranties as to the accuracy, completeness or efficacy of any of such Safety Points, and you agree that you are solely responsible for your interactions with other members.

While this is by no means a comprehensive or definitive list, it should give you an idea of things to consider when using our site:

Before you meet someone for the first time, get to know him first and make sure to feel comfortable with the person and spend time speaking with the person whether by email, chat or by phone. Ask detailed questions and be cautious of any inconsistent information or strange behaviors. If you see any warning signs or just have a bad feeling about the situation, end the conversation. You should be confident that the person is being genuine and portray themselves as the person they are presenting to you before committing to meet. Always remember, you are proving yourself as well and you have good intentions.

1. Protect your finances. You should be mindful of any communication requesting that you submit credit card or other account information. Providing your financial information in response to these types of communications can result in identity theft.
a. Always access your sensitive account information by going directly to the Gayquation website and not through a hyperlink in an email or any other electronic communication, even if it looks official.
b. Gayquation reserves the right to place any account on hold anytime with or without notification to the member in order to protect itself and its partners from what it believes to be fraudulent activity.
c. Gayquation is not obligated to credit or discount a membership for holds placed on the account by either a representative of Gayquation or by the automated processes of Gayquation.
d. Ignore any request to send money, domestically or internationally or by wire transfer, and report it to us immediately – even if the person claims to be in an emergency. Wiring money is like sending cash: the sender has no protections against loss and it's nearly impossible to reverse the transaction or trace the money.

2. Anyone who is able to commit identity theft can also falsify a dating profile. You are in control of your online dating experience at all times – remain anonymous until you feel ready.

3. Use common sense. There is no substitute for acting with caution when communicating with any stranger who wants to meet you. If you feel uncomfortable at any point in the meeting, determine an exit strategy, as it may be difficult to know if the other party is genuine or malicious. Follow your instincts.

4. It's important to exchange emails back-and-forth and spend time speaking either by phone, Skype, Face Time, video chats or any other electronic communication vehicle before you meet to feel confident the person is who they portray themselves to be.
a. Exchange a few photos with each other. They should be different than the ones on either of your social media profiles. If you choose to accept mature, nude body, pornographic or genital pictures, just know, it increases the chances that he may just be out for a hookup and not a genuine date. If he is uncomfortable sending face pics and confirming he is who he says he is, then no date. You can Google an image and get details about it including the dates taken. It’s a good idea to save the photo in an accessible folder on your computer.

5. Protect your private information. Never include your last name, e-mail address, home address, phone number, place of work, or any other identifying information in your username or Internet profile or initial e-mail messages. Stop communicating with anyone who pressures you for personal or financial information or attempts in any way to trick you into revealing it.

6. Be wary of communications that ask you to act immediately, offer something that sounds too good to be true, or asks for personal information. There are certain red flags to watch for that may indicate you're dealing with a scammer. Be aware of anyone who…
• Quickly asks to talk or chat on an outside email or messaging service
• Claims to be from U.S. but currently travelling, living or working abroad
• Asks you for money
• Vanishes mysteriously from the site, then reappears under a different name
• Talks about "destiny" or "fate"
• Claims to be recently widowed
• Asks for your address under the guise of sending flowers or gifts
• Makes an inordinate amount of grammar and/or spelling errors
• Sends you emails containing strange links to third-party websites

The U.S. Federal Trade Commission's advice to avoid online romance scams is available here: http://onguardonline.gov/articles/0004-online-dating-scams

Be dateable, more importantly, be wise. If personal details provided by another person don't seem to add up, they behave suspiciously or pressure you for personal or financial information – block communications with that person and report them to us immediately.

Block and report suspicious users. You can block and report concerns about any suspicious user anonymously from any email or social media profile page, phone, text or IM window. Use the technology that protects your anonymity. It is okay to keep your personal details limited while getting to know someone before disclosing personal information or meeting in person. Although we offer GQ Protect, we don't conduct criminal background checks on our users, so if you would like more information about someone, we recommend using the Internet and government resources available to everyone. This can include typing the person's name into a search engine, reviewing public information made available by government offices, or using a paid service to obtain a full background report.

Additionally, please report anyone who violates our terms of use. Examples of terms of use violations include:

• Asking you for money or donations
• Married people or minors using the service
• Members sending harassing or offensive emails/IMs
• Members behaving inappropriately after meeting in person
• Spam or solicitation, such as invitations to call 1-900 numbers or attempts to sell products or services

In person Dating / Local Meetings
7. Be cautious. If you choose to have a face-to-face meeting with another member or potential match, always have a buddy system. Tell a good friend or someone in your family where you are going and when you will return. Never agree to be picked up at your home.

8. Never meet in a private or remote location, and never at your date's home or apartment. Always provide your own transportation to and from your date- even if it is with Uber or a taxi. It is a good idea to meet in a public and well-populated place with many people around.

9. Take your phone with you in case of an emergency, most smart phones have location technology included which possibly may help to locate you or provide guidance. While on your date text a good friend and let them know your current location and how the date is going, if you change locations at any time during the date send a new text to your friend with the new location. This may seem like overkill, but your safety is well worth a few seconds of time and effort.

10. Keep personal items with you at all times. You don't want to risk having personal information stolen. If you're drinking alcohol (know your limits and don’t feel pressured to drink), keep your beverage within your site at all times so it can't be tampered with.

11. Pay attention to body language or mood changes, if something feels off or they don’t respect your comfort zone, at any time do not hesitate to end the date early. It is best not to go back to your date's home or bring them back to yours on the first date, unless it is consensual between both parties. If your date pressures you or you feel unsafe, end the date and leave at once.

12. It is best not to get intoxicated. Stay sober and avoid drinking alcohol or taking anything that will inhibit your common sense or impair your judgment when you are on a date with someone you don't know very well.

13. Have a backup plan. Always have a backup plan in case things do not go the way you expected. For example, tell a friend to call you half an hour into your date and check up on you, but make sure to be discreet when answering. Know where your exits are and the most effective way to use them should you feel uncomfortable.

Long Distance Meetings
14. Long distance meetings pose special safety concerns to take into account. Keep these tips in mind.
a. Stay in a hotel or secure location. Check into your own room and avoid staying in the other person's home.
b. Use a taxi or rental car to get to and from the airport. Securing your own ride is important. Even if the person you're meeting volunteers to pick you up from the airport, do not get into a personal vehicle with someone you've never met (or have misgivings about).
c. Keep your hotel location confidential. The person you're meeting should respect your privacy until you know each other.
d. Remember to keep your family and friends posted. Tell someone who you are meeting, where you are going and when you will return.

Being involved and dating safely will make your Gayquation experience fun and safe. Enjoy and happy hunting.

Learn more about the matchmaking process. For questions & inquiries contact us.
Also, view our Trust & Safety page.